fooled again...and again.

lately, my señora has proven herself to be a master of deception. it all started at dinner one evening last week. each night, maría prepares our plates and hands them to us through the little window in the wall. it´s always an adventure, waiting to see what it will be, whether or not it´s recognizable. this particular evening, my heart soared, my spirits lifted when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a plateful of mini corn dogs! anyone who has spent any time with me knows that mini corn dogs are my #3 favorite food. i could not believe it. and i shouldn´t have. it was too good to be true. i placed my fork to cut the "mini corn dog" and expected some resistance (due to the delightul little hot dog hidden inside), however, my fork slid right through it revealing some sort of white paste. i think a little part of me died right then. but i thought, what the heck. i might as well eat it. there´s no other option. it´s consistency was that of the paste you make from flour and water as a child. and that´s about what it tasted like too. it turned out to be a combo of flour, potatoes, eggs, and ham (although i couldn´t seem to find it) fried in batter. fool me once...

incident number two: see post entitled "my chest is on fire!" fool me twice...

incident number three: we sit at the table and hear the deep fryer going in the kitchen. great, i think to myself. more dough nuggets. at least i know what they are this time. sure enough she passes though a plate with dough nuggets, doritos, and ONION RINGS! this is also reason for celebration as my roommates can tell you i often have cravings for onion rings. i couldn´t have been more excited. i saved them to the very end, i even ate all of the doritos first. i smelled the delicious deep-fried O and prepared to enter heaven. i took a large bite and what the heck??!! why is this CHEWY? oh crap. please god, don´t let this be what i think it is. it can´t be right? i mean, it´s in a perfect O. that doesn´t make sense. "señora, what is this?" "es un pescado (seafood)." unbelievable. she duped me into eating squid. deep-fried not oniony goodness at all squid. thankfully it didn´t taste like anything, so i was able to finish it. however, i do not enjoy chewing on deep-fried rubber. fool me three times...

incident number four: (as you can see this is becoming a pattern, but i´m telling you, the woman is tricky) we had finished our dinner, safely might i add, and miguel came home from work with a bag of food. he put it on a plate and literally shoved it at me, saying, "comer!" (eat). i asked what it was called and he replied with something like "tismichi con patates." i thought, well, he didn´t say potates, which means potatoes, but it was close, and those things look an awful lot like french fries. i might as well. as soon as i put it in my mouth, i could have kicked myself. squid again. those people tricked me into eating squid TWICE in the same week! fool me no more, i say! never again will i be exploited in this manner. from now on, i am on my guard and always expecting the worst.

more to come on the bullfight later...